I don't know what is wrong with me the past few days. Last year is happening all over again. I hate myself. When I look into the mirror I feel physically sick. I want to cry. I promised myself I wouldn't get like this again. I have cried myself to sleep all week. Sometimes I just want somebody to notice and help me. I can't go on like this any more. I don't want to be here but I know I wouldn't have the guts to do anything to myself. I think I have depression. I know when some people read this they may think I am exaggerating and being a drama queen but I thought I had it last year as well, I was just too scared to get help. Looking back over the last 18 months the only time I have been anywhere near truly happy is when I am starving myself.
And that is what I intend to start doing again, starting tomorrow. I will limit myself to 500 calories and start doing some more exercise. I need to start weighing myself again, I have been too scared recently as every time I seem to weigh myself it goes up.
Oh what I would give to be normal... but then again what is normal?!
Sorry for such a depressing post, Hope everyone is well, Stay strong x
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