I have had the worst day ever. As if not making it to the gym was bad enough I couldn't stop the amount of food I put inside my fat grotesque body today. I feel disgusting I have no idea how much I ate but I feel sick and tried so so hard to make myself throw up, I wanted to get rid of everything I had put into my mouth, but I just couldn't my body just wouldn't let me and I cant even imagine the number the scales will come up with tomorrow morning. I know it is not a good idea to get into this habit but I needed to, I needed to gain control and punish myself for being weak.
I feel such a failure. I thought I was getting over these feelings, I felt like I had them under control and now I feel like I am back at square one. I don't know what to do I cant go on feeling like this any more I just cant. I just want everything to stop. x x
actually my school wasn't closed :( it was one of the only ones to be open in my area.. ugh! but on the bright side, i didnt go to any of my lessons, we sneaked to the park and had a huge snowfight!! :)
ReplyDelete& dont be so hard on yourself hun, we all make mistakes. what defines you as strong is your ability to get back up and start up again. dont worry, we're here for you babes, StAYStrOng! xxx